I am on a quest. It's a quest to make a difference. I'm learning that making a difference doesn't mean that I need to pastor the biggest church in the county or state.
All I need to do is influence one. Let's call it the "influence of one."
My goal is to influence one person each day, each month, each year. If I can do that, if I can pour my life into one person (or two or three), than that one person can influence two others, and two others can influence six others and, well, you get the idea.
I encourage us all to look around us and seek out those whom we can influence. Would to God (I say that as a prayer) that the older men in our church and in the kingdom would recognize this. On the one hand I can't fault anyone for I know that we all have life issues to deal with.
But the irony is that it's in the midst of dealing with life issues that we are the most effective in ministry. It's when we are hurting the most that we influence the most in our lives. It's called "ministering through pain."
Some in the midst of pain want to withdraw, to withdraw from ministry, until their suffering is over. Yet, God calls us all to be "wounded healers," as Henri Nouwen writes.
How do I seek out someone to mentor?
First of all, recognize the need to be a mentor. Let's take teenagers as an example.
On a regular basis, this generation of young people is faced with things we could have never anticipated. The increasing level of influence society has on them is continually justified while the teenagers of today are slipping farther and farther out of the grasp of the church.
It is going to take concerned adults like you to rescue them from the clutches of the enemy that is luring them away ever so subtly. What can we do? What does this generation really need? This generation needs you. It needs you to be a mentor.
You may ask, “How can I do anything to help a teenager or someone in need? I don’t even know how to talk to them!” Believe it or not, teens are ready and waiting to get to know adults that care for them. Here are a few tips that you can use to get started.
Be real... If your life isn’t a cake walk, don’t pretend that it is. Show teens how to respond to difficult situations. Often, we feel pressured to act as if our life is perfect, making us seem incredibly un-relatable. Teens have an uncanny sense of knowing when you are being fake. If you are not real with them, they have no reason to be real with you. Teens can feel intimidated by people who seem perfect, but they are willing to open up to those who are transparent.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood... Remember, God gave us two ears and one mouth; listen more than you talk. In his book, “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” Stephen Covey writes, “…unless I open up with you, unless you understand me and my unique situation and feelings, you won’t know how to advise or counsel me. What you say is good and fine, but it doesn’t quite pertain to me.”
It is easy to counsel through your own autobiography, forgetting that things today are not quite the same as when you were a teenager. In fact, each teenager’s story is different than your own. Learn to listen before telling them how it is.
Don’t pretend you have all of the answers... If you don’t know the answer, don’t allow yourself to be intimidated. Rather, find the answer together. Pray and search scripture together. Investigate the issue even further by reading a book together on the topic. The key is not knowing all the answers, but knowing how to find them
Walk the talk... Stephen Covey also writes, “The real key to your influence with me is your example, your actual conduct. Your example flows naturally out of your character or the kind of person you truly are—not what others say you are or what you may want me to think you are. It is evident in how I actually experience you.”
The way you privately and publicly live your life is the foundation of your influence on a young person. If the two contradict, then the relationship you are attempting to build will crumble. “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” (Mark 3:25)
Once you’ve identified someone to mentor, remember this: You can’t take someone anywhere that you haven’t been before. Don’t let that intimidate you, but let it encourage you to go places with the Lord you’ve never been before. Then, show them how to get there, too.
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2 comments:
I love that, Rick.
Great advice and suggestions, George. It is so true about teenagers. I think when it comes to mentoring or trying to be a Godly influence in the lives of teenagers and young women is that I don’t tell them I’m mentoring them. The approach is back to relationships. It’s taking the time to build a relationship over a latte or coffee, listening, and building trust. Over time you can see areas in their lives where they are seeking advice or help and over time because they know you care, they are willing to take more time to listen and learn. In turn they request more time with you. I think when we try to do it sincerely and without formulas and programs, it let’s the person know we are taking time out of our busy schedules for them and it means a lot more. I would hope that within our church many are doing this without it being connected to a ministry or a specific program. If they are like me, you just do it and most often people don’t know you are ministering in this way throughout the week.
I don’t’ want to assume there are men or women in our church that aren’t doing this because they may be and nobody knows it. We say we are all a part of the body of Christ and no part is less important than the other. And by doing so we must know that meeting for a cup of coffee outside of a church program is just as important as teaching a class, a small group, or singing for the offertory. Just because it doesn’t show up in the data, doesn’t mean it isn’t being done. And personally, I just assume not be included in some quota because it can some times take away from the sincerity and authenticity of why I’m doing what I’m doing. If someone is waiting for a mentoring program to start then perhaps they are making it more complicated than it really is. If we say we want to be the hands and feet of Jesus then we need to just do it...it doesn’t need to take place within a formulated schedule or program to take time for others. I like what you wrote, George, that we shouldn’t be intimated to go where the Lord wants us to go. When I think of the areas I minister, there is no greater blessing and fulfillment then when I take time and sit with someone outside of any program or organized church activity.
Casting Crowns has a great song called, "If We Are the Body" that clearly says what we are meant to be.
Our arms are to reach out to others.
Our hands are to touch in healing.
Our words are supposed to be teaching.
Our feet are supposed to be going (out into the needy).
Why is our love not showing?
This is what we need to be doing, both individually and corporately. I pray that the Holy Spirit lays a conviction of this mentoring mentality upon all of our people. If they are already doing mentoring, may it go deeper; if not, that they seek out those in need (whatever their age) and provide comfort and guidance to them.
I usually don't equate spiritual things well to a person's age...I have a tendency to look for their spiritual age, not physical. I know we have all seen teens with a mature spiritual life and we have all seen very mature adults with a immature spiritual life. Not that we all don't need mentors, we do; I'm glad for the mentors in my own life as I try each day to move closer and closer to Jesus Christ. From personal experience, I know that sometimes I don't see the forest for the trees; I don't notice the overall impact because I'm concentrating on the little things creating issues. This is one of the areas that I need some help in in my own life.
Love God, love people.
Jon
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