I have found that we spend an enormous amount of our time and energy in making up our minds about other people.
Sometimes this is done spontaneously, on the spur of the moment. We meet someone and immediately form opinions. The book "Blink" states that most of the time, those opinions are right.
Other times, we, in the midst of conflict, form opinions that can be made in a state of self-preservation. To prove that "we" are right, and that "other" person is wrong.
I would suggest to you that not a day goes by without somebody doing or saying something that brings out the need in us to form an opinion about that person.
It can become a habit in our lives. And, if out of control, it can become bondage.
We all need to be released from the heavy burden of judging others. There is freedom in letting people be who they are - an realizing that not everyone sees everything the way I see things, or feels everything the way I feel things, or think everything that I think.
Once I am free from judging, I am free then to extent mercy.
Jesus said, "Don't judge, and you won't be judged." Matthew 7:1
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There are many circumstances that have occurred in my life (whether my own doing or others) that can give others room for judgment and slander. I am guilty of doing both, however, I try to think twice about judging others because I definitely do not want to "reap what I sow" in this area. I have lost friends and even family because of situations in my life all because judgment was placed instead of mercy due to uncontrollable circumstances. What room do I have to talk about others when there is enough “dirt” in my own life for them to talk about? In the end, I wish people would pray for me and my family more than just talk about things that we cannot change. I know how wonderful it feels to know that others still love me and my family because they look at me with grace, not judgment and condemnation. Yet, even in the body of Christ, if we fail, we are judged and not always given a second chance. Before we place a verdict on someone’s abilities, let’s be sure to place grace and mercy over them first, over and over, just like Christ does for us. I fail so often but those that continue to love me despite my failures, truly show the love Christ expects from us. Four years ago when I was going through one of the most difficult times in my life, close friends wanted to have dinner with us more regularly. I was going through a time I felt rejected and ashamed. When the world turned me away, how wonderful it felt to have true Christian friends love me and actually want to know me for who I really am, not what is only seen on the surface. That is true love and the love I hope I can extend to all around me.
I was involved in a discussion yesterday...it involved the recent news story of the teacher who was fired from her position at a Catholic school for getting pregnant. Turns out she wouldn't marry the baby's father (for whatever reasons, none were given in the story) and that was the only way the school would let her stay in her fallen state. Set a bad example for the students, you know. Can't have that, no, no, no. There are two sides to the story, of course, and this is one that we'll see played out in the courts as the fired teacher has already filed an discrimination suit against the school, the church, and everyone else involved. Anyway, my point to the discussion yesterday was that she should be forgiven, the situation used to educate the kids (instead of acting like they live in some vacuum where they wouldn't see this type of situation...the school is in New York!) on the perils of pre-marital sex or a host of other topics (single parent vs double parent identity, economics, etc.) over the course of time, and just extend the love that was demonstrated to us. An opposing view was that the teacher knew the rules for working there and she should follow them; while she should be fired, she should not be excommunicated or shunned from the church. There's validity to this view as well. Is there a right answer? I'm sure there is but I think the answer will differ depending on the world or heavenly view point. In our world, we have rules that govern our behavior at work; break the rules, get fired! We also have "commandments" from heaven; break those, go to hell! But Jesus summed those commandments up into two succinct statements (which I paraphrase), "Love God and Love People." Extend the love, mercy, and grace that God has extended to us...extend it to all, even if we disagree with them, even if we dislike their lifestyle or choices in life, even if they are diametrically opposed to us. Just love them. Hate the sin, not the sinner! Show them God's love unconditionally, make it apparent in everything we do and every situation that we find ourselves. That's what wins souls to Christ, showing His love constantly and unconditionally. Will we get hurt? Probably...no, most definitely at some point. Should that deter us? No...we push on in the race, with our eyes on the goal! Eternity with the all loving Father, sitting with the all loving Son, interacting with the all loving Holy Spirit! What a prize, what a life! So, when I find myself feeling judgemental, I try to remember the race, the goal, the prize, but mostly, I try to remember the Holy One who demonstrated it for us on the cross. I love you Jesus! And I love you all! Go with God.
Jon
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