Perfectionism

Before I share about what I am going to teach on this evening (Romans 7:1-6), let me answer the question that was posed concerning my blog yesterday.

Here's the question:  "How do you comfort someone who has been hurt or grieving?"

Great question.

Just off the top of my head (and I will eventually devote an entire blog to this) here are some suggestions.

Don't belittle or put down someone's emotions that they are expressing.  "You shouldn't feel that way."  "If you were a Christian, you wouldn't say that."  Those kinds of words are mean.  Allow the person to vent without being judgmental.

Don't give Christian clichés.  "Everything will work out in the end."  "All things work together for good" (which is true, but there is a time and place to say that).

Don't talk to much.  Sometimes when we don't know what to say, we talk too much.

Don't try to figure out the "why" for them.  You don't know why.  They don't know why.  Many times we won't ultimately know "why" until we are with Jesus.

Do "be there".  More than anything else your presence is needed and speaks volumes.

Do use physical touch.  A hug.  An arm around someone is so needed during this time.

Do pray with them.  A short prayer.

Do more than say, "If you need anything I am here for you," but do actually bring them that meal.  Do actually come over and see how they are doing. 

There is more I can say, but let's return to this at a later time.

Now then, for this evening, Romans 7:1-6. 

Two great chapters, Romans 7 and 8.  In chapter 7, Paul describes the struggling Christian.  The Christian who wrestles with the flesh, the carnal nature and the law. 

Our theme of the evening?  The law defines sin - and our Christian life is not based on rules, but a loving relationship with God.

God's will for your life is not be live a performance based walk with Him!

That is legalism.

A legalist is a person who insists on letting their conscious be your guide.

Do you know that I found out about legalistic people?

They are intolerant of the failures of others.  The put a high level of expectation on other people that other people cannot live up to.  They put a high level of expectation on themselves that they cannot live up to.

What are the results?  Pride.  A critical spirit.  Hypocrisy.  They begin to put on a face, a facade and begin to cover up their own sins and failures.  They being to act like something they are not and do thing that they are no.

It's what I call the "plastic Christian" game - as if everything is fine and I have no problems and life is a fluff ball.  When we do that - we case to be real, transparent and vulnerable.

Did you know that perfectionist can never establish and keep long term relationships?

Because nobody, and I mean nobody ever measures up. 

From their spouse, to their parents, to their children, to their boss, to their church, to their church leaders, nobody ever measures up to their standards. 

What are their two favorite words:  Ought and Should.  They ought to be that way.  They should to his.

I am so happy that Jesus doesn't expect me to be perfect.  Striving for holiness yes.  Striving for righteousness yes. 

Jesus said in Matthew 11;28, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." 

Finally, know this:  A true walk with Christ comes not from the keeping of rules but from a relationship with Jesus.

Just some thoughts for a Wednesday.