He must increase, I must decrease

David Brainerd was a missionary to the American Indians from 1743-1747. 

He is also remembered for his daily practice of fervent prayer and single minded yearning for holiness. 

As Andrew Murray writes, Brainerd's example "rebukes the prayerlessness and luke-warmness of most Christian lives."

In reading his published daily prayer journal, let me share with you one entry from October 14th.  He writes with just this raw honesty that I appreciate.

Here are his words:

"Lord's Day, October 14. 

Was much confused and perplexed in my thoughts; could not pray; and was almost discouraged, thinking I should never be able to preach any more.  Afterwards, God was pleased to give me some relief from these confusion; but still I was afraid, and even troubled before God.

I went to the place of public worship,. lifting up my heart to God for assistance and grace, in my great work:  and God was gracious to me, helping me to plead with Him for holiness, and to use the strongest arguments with Him, drawn from the incarnation and sufferings of Christ for this every end, that men might be made holy.

Afterwards, I was much assisted in preaching.  I know not that ever God helped me to preach in a more close and distinguishing manner for the trial of men's state.  Through the infinite goodness of God, I felt what I spoke; He enabled me to treat on divine truth with uncommon clearness; and yet I was so sensible of my defects in preaching, that I could not be proud of my performance, as at some times; and blessed be the Lord for this mercy!

In the evening I longed to be entirely alone, to bless God for help in a time of extremity; and longed for great degrees of holiness, that I might show my gratitude to God."

One of the many lessons in David Brainerd's words (and I encourage you to read the above journal entry and write down all of the lessons) is that it is at the times when we are the weakest - that is when God can use us the most. 

He must increase, I must decrease.

That is my prayer today.

Just a thought for a Wednesday.