Consistency

One of the things I continue to struggle with is allowing other people's emotional "ups and downs" to affect my emotional well-being.

In a previous church, I ministered with a volunteer who was in leadership - who was constantly either "way up" or "way down" in his emotions. 

He wore his emotions "on his sleeve".

When we met, I spent the first 5 to 10 minutes taking his emotional temperature - and then served with him accordingly. 

I found myself riding his emotions as well - his emotional state became my emotional state.

It nearly drove me "batty".

As a care-giver, one of my strengths is that I can be very sensitive to how people are feeling at the moment.  But it can also be a weakness if I allow myself to "ride" those same emotions.

Riding the proverbial roller coaster of others emotions can lead to disastrous results.

I can be in a situation and someone can be acting like an idiot - and I can walk away from that situation feeling like I was at fault (when I wasn't) or worse yet, responding to the person's idiocy with idiocy.

We never fight a dragon by becoming a dragon.

We never fight an idiot by becoming an idiot.

Here's what I know:  You and I are responsible to people - but we are not responsible for people.

If someone is angry towards a situation (or me) - I am responsible to them by reacting in a godly way.  I am not responsible for their anger and think it is a reflection on me.  In other words, I don't need to "fight anger with anger".

If someone is distraught towards a situation (or me), I am responsible to minister to them as best I can.  I am not responsible to think I can personally change their situation or behavior (how can I do something that only God can do - and many times in a miraculous way at that?).

I can't change anybody.  I can't make anybody think exactly as I do.  I can't make anybody act exactly like I want them to.

We pastored in Carlsbad, New Mexico for 3 years.  It is a small town or around 28,000 people.  When I was there, I always wondered how they could get along in such a small situation.

Here's what I learned - they would say - when it came to someone who was acting in a negative way - "Oh, that's just Bill.  That's the way he is."  "Oh, that's just Jane.  That's the way she is."

In other words, you can't change Bill, so accept him the way he is, deal with him as he is - and you and I will jump off the emotional roller coaster that Bill leaves us with.

Is there a point when you and I need to step in and speak with Bill?

Yes, when:

Bill is affecting the unity of the church (family, business, team).

Bill is affecting the working (ministry) of any group of people.

Bill is embarrassing himself.

Ultimately, if I love and care for Bill (or Jane or whomever) enough, there will be a point in time when I will need to speak with Bill - but it must be for his benefit - not mine.

Anyway, I trust that all of this makes sense - for a Wednesday....and now if I can just live this stuff....