Have you ever been disappointed by something that you had look forward to for a long time? We all have. We all been disappointed by situations and people in our lives. And what's probably worse in when we are a disappointment to others.
Stop and think about it.
What causes you to feel disappointed?
I think we can sum it up into one word.
Expectations.
Something or someone didn't meet your expectations.
You had it in your mind that a situation or a person would act or react in a certain way - and it fell way short.
For example:
You wonder how on earth you could have been excited about the job you are currently in.
You feel like the spouse you are married to gave you some false advertising. The relationship is all it was cracked up to be.
You helped someone and they weren't thankful in return.
The small group you are in is nothing like you anticipated it to be.
The church I'm attending isn't meeting my needs.
You just got back from vacation. It wasn't that great. Nothing like you thought it would be.
Expectations.
What can we do?
Learn to take things as they come.
Be realistic.
Give grace to those around me.
Be thankful for what I do have.
Realize that nothing or no one is perfect.
Laugh a lot at the imperfections of life.
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2 comments:
One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone sets expectations of me that they do not set for themselves or their own families. Many set expectations of what I should do, when I should do it, and with whom, and yet they don’t live by the same expectations. This drives me absolutely insane and yet it seems daily I listen to people lay out their expectations for others and inevitably they are always disappointed. I like it when others clearly communicate their expectations of me so I can give a response that I can meet them, or only part of it, or not at all. However, if they have already made up their mind of what I should do, it doesn’t matter what I say or do. This is setting unrealistic expectations on others. I have learned to not own their feelings of disappointment if they do this and I try very hard to not set expectations to this degree in others. I guess I always think if I’m not doing something, I shouldn’t expect others to do it. My reasons, excuses are irrelevant in situations like this if I expect others to do something I don’t even like doing and never do. I grew up hearing “don’t do as I do, do as I say.” In Christ, I don’t think this applies. We should live our lives doing what we say and knowing we are walking the talk. Others will look on us and set expectations of us, but again, I can’t be responsible for their feelings. I will be less disappointed in others if I keep my expectations of others at a minimum. People will always let us down and I’m sure I will always let others down, but that’s why our focus must be on the Lord each and every day. There are no disappointments in Christ.
As Paul said, being able to be content in all situations. That's the key for me. Yes, there are times when I fail to be content (I'm human, after all) but I try to get back there as quickly as I can. God provides for me...I just don't see the provision at times. And, like Teresa, I refuse to own someone's disappointment when they don't let me know the expectation or if they don't listen when I tell them I cannot meet their needs. I have enough disappointments in my own life to learn from to own anyone else's. God is helping me to see the lessons in each disappointment that I have (and still) suffered. It is through learning from them that I learn to be content in each and every season of my life. As a parent, I am disappointed often as I am sure that I disappointed my parents as I matured. As a leader at work, the same applies. My task is to ensure that my kids and my employees all understand my expectations and that they have received the knowledge and training to complete the tasks assigned to them. That's my obligation to avoiding disappointment...not that it always works but it does set the tone for the conversations that follow.
I had a boss once who, every day, would come in and give me another project or two...even if I had not completed what was given before. It was not too long before my task list was longer than I could accomplish but I continued to strive and get things done. I would re-prioritize based on the new projects and put out fires as necessary. Finally, one day, I asked him why he kept giving me stuff to do when he knew how backlogged I was...his answer was that he was trying to find my breaking point. He was actually trying to find the place beyond which I would lose my mind...I told him that he was wasting his time because I just gave everything to God when I became overwhelmed and God gave me peace, comfort, and the wisdom to sort things out so that priority stuff was done on time. He was blown away...and he stopped giving me too many assignments as he knew I was not going to break. He found out that God is my contentment! He never lets me down or disappoints me...He is always there to comfort me, to listen to me, to let me vent and to hear my distress. He loves me enough to do all of that for me...and more!
Love God, love people.
Jon
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