Bondages and drawbridges

Here's what I know:

I must not let other people's bondages become my bondages.

So true.

Many times, people walk in and out of our lives, leaving behind their trail of self-destruction and turmoil - we pick that up - and input it into our own lives.

While we are responsible "to" people, we are not responsible "for" people.

Each person is responsible for their own choices, decision and pathways they take in life.

So, whether or not I allow someone to influence me with the negativity (or positivity) of their decisions is my choice.

I choose, I decide for  myself to whom and when I give access to my "soul" life (soul meaning my thoughts and emotions).

Many of you for years have allowed others to walk in and out of your life according to their needs and desires.

While it is true that we are to reach out to others in their time of need, and it is true that we are to be ready "in season" and "out of season" to to give a word of encouragement, if I allow others to dictate how I feel about myself or how I feel about life in general by assimilating their choices into my life - I find myself throwing myself off the road to freedom.

You can become tired, irritated, angry and resentful.

God's desire for you is that you live a healthy life:  spiritually and emotionally.

I like the illustration of a medieval castle surrounded by a moat. 

Henri Nouwen writes:  "The drawbridge is the only access to the interior of the castle.  The lord of the castle must have the power to decide when to draw the bridge and when to let it down.  Without such power, he can become the victim of enemies, strangers, and wanderers.  He will never feel at peace in his own castle."

He goes on to write:  "It is important for you to control you own drawbridge.  There must be times when you keep your bridge drawn and have the opportunity to be alone or only with those to whom you feel close.  Never allow yourself to become public property, where anyone can walk in and out at will.  You might think that you are being generous in giving access to anyone who wants to enter or leave, but you will soon find yourself losing your soul."

Finally he states:  "When you claim for yourself the power over your drawbridge, you will discover new joy and peace in your heart and find yourself able to share that joy and peace with others."

In other words:  Don't let other people's bondages become your bondages.