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Thursday, October 30, 2014

Not doing marriage alone

Yesterday I talked about kindness in marriage.
Let me encourage you today with this thought:  Don't do marriage alone.
For many married couples, developing accountability relationships is one of the most important steps they can take to a great marriage.
It seems like I have been quoting the scripture from Ecclesiastes 4:9,10 a lot recently, but these verses are so true:
"Two are better than one because.....if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.  But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up." 
How can you be accountable in marriage?
Some suggestions:
Pray together.  There is nothing that promotes relational intimacy more than praying together.  Ask each other questions like:  "What has God been teaching you lately?"  "What are you praying about these days?"
Be open about the tempations and moral sturggles of life, especially in the realm of physical intimacy.
Help each other with schedules.  Monitor each other's workload and schedules.  Making good decisions means saying yes to some things and no to others....and saying "no" can be a lot easier when you can honestly add:  "WE have decided that I don't have time to do this."
Have joint checking accounts.  Keep each other up to date on all financial issues.
Become united on parenting styles.  Most parents obtain their parenting techniques from what they saw modeled by their parents.  Many times, husband and wife are 180 degrees apart on "how to parent."  I encourage you to interact and sharpen one another on which style you choose to parent.
Now then, on to something just as important.
I would suggest that at least one other couple knows how you really are doing in your marriage.  If I could say it with a "you" statement:  You need at least one or two other couples who know how you are doing in your marriage.
Formats for that include your small group or lifelong friendships in the church.  
I am grateful that God is filling our church with couples who earnestly desire a genuine relationship with other couples - and with God!  They desire godly marriages.
Here is the principle:  Accountability, with a spouse and in a small group, is one of God's tools for building a strong and lasting marriage.
Just some thoughts for a Thursday........ 

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