The process of forgiveness

Here what I know - when I forgive; I forgive in a point of time (called a crisis) - but the total act of forgiveness is a process.

First of all there is the crisis.

The first step is to see my unforgiveness as sin.

I have to stop explaining it, defending it, holding on to it, cherishing it, or reviewing it. I have got to say, ‘I don’t want this for my life. I choose to forgive. My deep desire for God’s forgiveness outweighs any desire to hold on to unforgiveness.”

Then there is the process.

That means on Sunday, when I see that person at church who said or did that hurtful thing to me, my injury is going to come back to my mind.

I’ve got to promise mself that I won’t bring it up to them, I won’t bring it up to other people, and, by far the hardest, and I won’t bring it up to myself.

I won’t review it; I won’t get myself worked up about it.

I won’t let it roll around in my mind.

In the crisis, I decide I will forgive them; in the process, I live out my choice not to demand payment for the pain that they caused me.

Here’s what I want to say: when you fail in the process, you have to return to the crisis.

It is tough to let go of our feelings of pain and hurt.

In fact, in all probability, we are going to fail at completely letting go at first. The memories are too strong, too powerful to completely let go and they will suddenly come out of nowhere. And we find ourselves back at square one.

Satan will plant a thought inside your mind, and you will stand in the shower for 45 minutes staring straight ahead, caught in the negative mental loop.

We failed in the process. So what do we do? We go back to the crisis. We get before the Lord and pray, “God, forgive me. I want to be a forgiving person, and here I am holding on to this again, Lord. Help me again. I commit afresh to let it go.”

Crisis/process. Crisis/process. Crisis/process. Over time, with God’s help, you’ll let go of the offense, and God’s mercy will wash over you and give you release. There will come a time when you can think of the person or the pain and it will no longer trigger the old response.

I encourage you today - let it go. 

And remember:  Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right, forgiveness sets you free