Do I get married or not?

A lot of young people or single again people struggle with whether to be married or not. I hear the questions, "How do I know if I should remain single or get married (remarried)?

Some thoughts:

I should remain single if:

1. I am tempted to marry an unbeliever.

2. The person I marry will hinder my spiritual growth. That could be someone on a lesser spiritual plane this us or someone who is on the same or even greater level, spiritually, but does not see any reason to continue to grow spiritually.

3. I marry for the wrong motive. The only reason to marry is for love. Marrying for money, power, prestige, fear of growing old alone, or simply because it is the cultural norm is an equation for disaster.

4. I am unwilling to give myself to another person completely. Selfishness is something that none of us can get away from completely. All of us are selfish to some degree. But unless I am willing to sacrifice my wants or needs to meet the wants and needs of another person, every day of my life, I shouldn't marry.

I should get married if:

1. My life would be more complete with a spouse. Being married does not solve problems. Being married reveals problems. If I am not happy single, I probably won't be happy married. Happiness is an internal things - not dependant upon outward circumstances. However, you or I may not have the gift of celibacy as well. Paul describes celibacy as a spiritual gift in 1 Corinthians 7.

2. God leads me to someone I love and who loves me.

3. I am confident that my relationship with that person will illustrate Christ's love for His Church. I am to love Debbie as Christ loves the Church - in a sacrificial way (although that is not always the case - sometimes I can be selfish).

4. I am willing to spend the remainder of my days giving more than receiving. Again, I fall short in this a lot of times. Living successfully with someone takes a lot of time and practice and work...work...work.

One thing I do know. That God can always take my plan "B" choices and bring about plan A results.

I'm thankful that Debbie was and is God's plan "A" for my life. She was and is the one for me.

But if you think you have married the wrong person, know that God can always bring about plan "A" results out of your plan "B" choice.