Radioactive relationships 2.0

Picking up on where we left off yesterday, what do you do when you have are involved in a toxic, radioactive relationship with someone?

Don't panic - there are some steps to take - and the steps come from God's Word.

Set healthy boundaries.

Having been a church leader in New Mexico, and ministering to ranchers, I learned quickly that fences are necessary as boundaries to - and here is the deal - to keep the bad out and the good in. 

Craig writes, "our boundaries will help us to enjoy the good people without inhaling the bad."

Even Jesus set boundaries.  He loved everyone the same, but he didn't treat everyone equally.

That is huge.

We love people the same but we don't treat everyone equally.

Big difference.

Jesus didn't meet every person's needs.  Not everyone was in his inner circles.  The harder the Pharisees pushed Jesus with negativism and criticism - the harder he pushed back with the truth.

Jesus even had boundaries with those closest to Him.  Peter tried to persuade him to not give His life, and Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan!  You are a stumbling block to me."

No one could or would distract Jesus from his calling.

Before I go on, I love what Craig writes as a "disclaimer" about this:  "For the record, I don't recommend that you say to your grandma, "you're gangrene to me.  Get behind me, Satan."  But you have to be willing to set up boundaries so you can be stronger and better in ministry to people."

How do you do that?

Craig suggests:

"First,  you can tell people, "I won't let you talk to me or treat me that way."  Talk to people plainly.

Or if you are hearing gossip around you, you simply explain, "I am not participating."

Then stand strong.

He then goes on to say, "Secondly, you can explain to people, "I am not going there with you."  In other words, I am not going to let you lead me down the path of participating in the kind of behavior.

Finally, chapter 11 goes on to talk about an exit strategy from those who continue to bring harm to you and I as a result of their toxic behavior.

But then, that is for another day.

Just some thoughts for a Thursday.