Feeling lonely in the midst of a crowd

One of the ironies of life is that people can feel extremely lonely, even (or especially) in the midst of a crowd.

When God created the world, he was most proud of His best work - people.  Everything was good except for one thing - He tells us in Genesis 2:18, "It is not good for the man to be alone."

God has created us to need one another. 

If that is true, and it is, than why do we feel so lonely all of the time.

As a pastor, I am constantly around people.  My whole ministry life is consumed with two things:  God and people.  Yet I can stand in a crowded foyer and feel alone.  I can have people around me but not close to me.

I've seen many people, over the years, who are the "life of the party" but they are relationally bankrupt.

All of us, at times, have thoughts of "no one understands me.  Does anyone genuinely care about me.  If I died would it really matter?  No one knows the real me...and even if they did, they probably wouldn't like me."

You've had those thoughts, haven't you?

So what do many people do?  They withdraw even further, until by the time they reach "old age" they are miserable, cranky and critical.

A a younger minister, I expected Christians to act like Christ.  As one author writes, "in case you haven't noticed, they often act more like the Antichrist".

I was naive and at times overly sensitive (and to a certain extent - still am).

For whatever reasons, I found that frequently I would be hurt by people I thought I could trust the most.

You have too.  And then the "great withdrawal" begins.

Here are some thoughts from Craig Groeschel on the reasons why we withdraw:

1.  We think we have to perform for other people.

If you don't perform,  you might not last.  Do a good job.  Don't offend people.  Say the right thing.  Help the church grow, but not too much or too fast.  Don't rock the boat.  Bring new people in, but above all else, make sure they focus in and learn about the past.

2.  We think that to survive in life, we can't trust anyone.

We build up walls, thinking, I will never be hurt again.  People are NEVER what they seem, so I must protect myself.  Don't trust them or you will get burned.  Don't let anyone get inside.

3.  We begin to think that people don't care about us.

Have you ever felt that way?  I go through seasons where I do.  Unappreciated.  Not valued.  We can begin to think that people only want what is good for them.  That my well-being is meaningless to everyone else. 

People tell you they love you or that they are praying for you, but it's all show.  People don't really care.

Are you a performer?  And in your performing, do you find yourself lonely?

Paul writes in Galatians 1:10, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  IF I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Who are you trying to please?  Whose acceptance are you trying to get? 

God?  Other people?  Yourself? 

Here's what I know:  through Christ, God has already accepted me.

I am not who others say I am.  I am who God says I am.  I can stop performing for others.  God's opinion of me is the only one that ultimately matters.  God created me.  God knows me.  God loves me.  My life belongs to him.