I need to spend time alone with God. There are times when I want to run into His presence.
And yet when I feel that way, I frequently come across the temptation of "there is too much to be done," or "I don't have the time," to dwell with Him.
It brings about a paradox, or at least I think it's a paradox, that it's when I am alone with God, in solitude with Him, that I discover how dependent I am on Him.
I find myself coming into God's presence, just me and Him, alone, in solitude and without the distractions of my daily life, I begin to feel anxious and tense.
When nobody speaks to me, or is calling me, or needs my help, I can start to feel like a nobody and that leads to feelings of uselessness, of not feeling valuable, or feeling insignificant.
So what do I do many times? I leave this fearful solitude quickly and start getting busy again to reassure myself that I am "somebody."
It's a great temptation, for what makes me "somebody," is not how much other people needs me, but God's eternal love for me. When I realize how much God loves me and cares for me, it throws all of my co-dependency out the window.
As one author wrote, "to claim the truth of ourselves we have to cling to our God in solitude as to the One who makes us who we are."
In other words, I am somebody when I am in God's presence. Alone. In solitude. That's what he ultimately created me for. For worship. For relationships.