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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Affair proofing your marriage

Our culture continues to freefall into a pit of immorality and ungodliness.
And as it does, the condition of our country is accelerating into a darkness of depravity that has not been seen since the last days of the Roman Empire.
Now, we are learning about "Ashley Madison" - which is a website online for marriage people who want to meet other married people in order to commit adultery.
Some surveys state that 45 to 50% of all Americans at one time or another will have an affair.
Nearly 70% of all married men under 40 expect to have an extramarital relationship.  Unbelievable.  70% of an entire age group EXPECT to be unfaithful to their spouses.
A few suggestions to remain faithful:
Make a commitment to God's standard
God's word tells us in Proverbs 5:15:  "Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone."
Ladies and gents - share this commitment to your spouse verbally.  Let them know that you are committed to the standard that God gives us concerning marriage and sex.
Share with your friends and those at work as well. 
In doing so, you are sending out a powerful signal to everyone that you are off limits.
Understand and magnify the consequences of an affair. 
Proverbs 6:32 tells us that "the one who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul."
Nothing damages the emotions like sexual sin.  Nothing. 
Nothing will damage family relationships like sexual sin.
Realize the consequences. 
I would never want to have to go to one or all of my children and confess that "dad has done something wrong."  I want them to be proud of me.  I want Debbie to know that she has married a godly man that she can trust. 
I love my family too much to put them through that.
And - I love Jesus Christ.  While I know that God loves me unconditionally, I do not want to let down the one who gave His life for me - that I might live eternally.
I fear the judgment of God.  Hebrews 13:4 says, "God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery."
So, love your family.  Love God.  And have a healthy, rational fear of a holy, righteous God. 
Maintain your marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:3 tells us:  "A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a wife should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs."
Not their own needs - the other's needs. 
One author writes, "If any of a spouse's needs go unmet, that spouse becomes vulnerable to the temptation of an affair."
And meet your spouses needs in the way they want their needs met - not in the way you think they want their needs met.
Manage your thought life
Know that an affair always starts in  your mind - by accepting sinful thoughts in your thoughts.  James 1:14 tells us, "temptation is the pull of a person's own evil thoughts and wishes.  These evil thoughts lead to evil actions and afterwards to death."
That can lead to an emotional involvement, which can lead to a physical involvement which can lead to a rationalization of the affair. 
Minimize the opportunity.  Don't place yourself in a situation or position that can lead to involvement with another person.  Here is the downward sequence:  Familiarity.  Feelings.  Frequency (you want to be around them more and more) and failure. 
Now then, some practical ways to protect yourself from an affair:
Seldom travel alone.  Call your spouse every night.  Avoid being alone with someone of the opposite sex.  Talk positively about your spouse.  Don't talk about your marital problems with someone of the opposite sex.  the door open to affairs almost always is someone disgruntled and unhappy with their mate.  Be accountable to others.  Choose your friends wisely. 
Well, there is a lot more than I can offer you today:  But I encourage you to meditate and pray about what I have shared.
Just a thought for a Tuesday.

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