Loyalty

I must admit that loyalty is a huge personal value for me. I appreciate loyalty from those around me.

Now, obviously, I need to give a disclaimer here.

Loyalty is not being a "yes" person all the time, nor is it being a "no" person all the time. There is no such thing as a "loyal opposition."

I am speaking of (in personal terms) of someone who is committed to a personal relationship no matter what the cost.

I am speaking of (in terms of ministry) of those who are committed to the vision of a local church and to their ministry assignment that God has given them.

I have a hard time with people who bail on me if something doesn't go right.

I have a hard time with people who bail on a vision or on a ministry of the church - especially when the bullets are flying over head.

I like to be around people who are committed to their relationships, committed to their ministry, committed to their church, committed to their pastors, committed to their God.

When I sense a "double mindedness" in someone - I struggle.

Let's talk about the first one today - loyalty on a personal level - in friendships.

There's an old story of a group of friends who went deer hunting and who separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. The other hunters asked, "Where's Harry?"

The man told them, "Harry fainted a couple miles up the trail."

The others couldn't believe it. "You mean you left him lying there alone and carried the deer back?"

The man answered, "It was a tough call, but I figured no one is going to steal Harry."

True friendship requires more loyalty than Harry's friend showed him.

The people closest to you need to know that they are important to you—more important to you than the externals of life.

Then there's a story about a guy who had just recently married a lovely young lady and was beginning to wonder whether she might have married him just for his money. He asked her, "If I lost all my money, would you still love me?"

She put her arms around him and said gently, "Oh, Honey! Don't be silly. Of course I would still love you. I would miss you terribly—but I would still love you." Those people closest to us need to know that they have our loyalty—always.

Solomon said, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (v. 24).

Solomon differentiates between companions and close friends. Another word for companions might be merely acquaintances.

There's a difference between knowing a person on a surface level and having a valued relationship with someone. An acquaintance is a person you get along with as long as everything goes well between the two of you; a close friend stays with you no matter what.

The people in our lives are fallible; they will make mistakes.

Sometimes they make huge mistakes. Are we committed to them only as long as they do what we want them to do?

Are we committed to them only as long as you personally benefit from the relationship?

Or can they depend on us even when they slip?

Job said. "A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty" (Job 6:14). The fact is, it is our loyalty that will help them get back on track.

In the Old Testament there is a wonderful love story about a man named Hosea and his wife, Gomer. The story of Hosea's love for his wife is used as a metaphor for God's love for us. Hosea loved Gomer even though she was a prostitute.

He loved her even though she was an adulteress. He loved her even though she had a name like Gomer. After Gomer had deserted Hosea, he went looking for her. He found her on an auction block, being sold as a prostitute-slave.

At that auction Hosea bought his own wife and asked her to come back to him. Hosea says, "I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and lethech of barley. Then I told her, 'You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will live with you'" (Hos. 3:2–3).

Managing our relationships is not about control; it's about commitment. It begins with a commitment to give those people close to us our undying loyalty—even when they let us down, even when they desert us, even when they fail.

We don't have to condone what they have done, but we can continue to be their friend.

Let me leave you with this story:

Earl C. Willer tells the story of two men who grew up best friends:

Though Jim was just a little older than Phillip and often assumed the role of leader, they did everything together. They even went to high school and college together.

After college they decided to join the marines. By a unique series of circumstances they were sent to Germany together where they fought side by side in one of history's ugliest wars.

One sweltering day during a fierce battle, amid heavy gunfire, bombing, and close-quarters combat, they were given the command to retreat. As the men were running back, Jim noticed that Phillip had not returned with the others. Panic gripped his heart. Jim knew if Phillip was not back in another minute or two, then he wouldn't make it.

Jim begged his commanding officer to let him go after his friend, but the officer forbade the request, saying it would be suicide.

Risking his own life, Jim disobeyed and went after Phillip. His heart pounding, he ran into the gunfire, calling out for Phillip. A short time later, his platoon saw him hobbling across the field carrying a limp body in his arms.

Jim's commanding officer upbraided him, shouting that it was a foolish waste of time and an outrageous risk. "Your friend is dead," he added, "and there was nothing you could do."

"No sir, you're wrong," Jim replied. "I got there just in time. Before he died, his last words were 'I knew you would come.'"