Sticky church - part six

We continue our discussion this week concerning our life groups - and look at a chapter in Larry Osborne's book, "Sticky Church," entitled, "Entry Points and "Escaping routes".

What I am noticing is that not everybody connects with small groups. While it is the desire of our church community that everyone does, not everyone will.

And here is Larry Osborne's point - we need to make it as painless as possible for those who try a life group and don't connect - or don't try it at all.

It avoids what he calls the "weasel factor". He writes, "...people won't stick with things or with groups that are uncomfortable. Maybe they should. But they don't. So they weasel out. If you've ever been weaseled on or been the weasel yourself, you know it's a miserable experience filled with lame excuses, awkward silences, averted glances, and ofttimes a giant elephant in the room. Is it any wonder that people who've gone through it once seldom sign up to go through it again?"

So what do we do to avoid the "weasel factor"?

We make it as painless as possible to try a group by a pain-free off-ramp and then have easy escape routes, and many of them.

Part of that process is to make sure that we limit our groups to specific time frames. Our time frame is that we go until December, take a break for Christmas, pick it up in January, go until May, and break for the summer.

I believe the break is healthy. It also gives new members time to decide whether ot opt in for the rest of the semester or bail out. No questions asked, no drive-by guiltings.

We also want to make it as guilt free as possible if some desire to try a different group. That might be "ego busting" for some of us who lead the groups, but a necessary step in realizing that each life group (in the positive sense) has their own unique addition to the kingdom of God.

How do our groups grow deeper. Here's a key that I am learning. EACH GROUP MUST GROW AT THEIR OWN PACE.

Relationship can't be forced, neither can spiritual depth.

The Holy Spirit is a big, big factor in play here.

We can't push our groups to grow spiritually too fast - no let them lack behind and become spiritually lazy.

Again, "simple church" is not "lazy church," in that we must continually strive to grow deeper in the Lord.

In almost every case, the growth of the life group relationally will find itself take place in due time. That's because sooner or later life will happen. When it does, tings get real - real fast, as Larry Osborne writes.

An unexpected trial or a significant crisis changes everything. Groups that were previously static, and I quote Osborne here, "superficial, or even bored with one another go deep practically overnight. Forced to become the hands and feet of Jesus, they live out the body of Chris metaphor as a daily reality. And when they do, "my small group" quickly becomes "my family."

While, as a life group family, we obviously do not ask for trials, nor do we obviously fabricate trials just to solidify the relational aspect of our groups, we must take advantage of them and allow them to be an opportunity for spiritual and relationship growth.