Who is my neighbor?

Jesus said that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Who is my neighbor?

For years I have heard it said, and have myself taught that my neighbors are those who are sick, hungry, dying and all who are in need."

While we ARE to reach out to the sick, hungry, dying and all who are in need, Jesus had a different definition of who my neighbor is.

When Jesus tells the story of the "Good Samaritan" in Luke 10:29-37, he was asked, "Who is my neighbor?". Jesus responds with a question, "which...do you think, proved himself a neighbor to the man who fell into the bandits' hands?"

According to Jesus, the neighbor is not the poor man lying on the side of the road, stripped, beaten and half dead, but the Samaritan who crossed the road, "Bandaged his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them...Lifted him onto his own mount and took him to an inn and looked after him."

Who is my neighbor? The person who crossed the road for me!

To become a neighbor to someone is to bridge the gap between us and them, for as long as there is distance between us, we can't look into each other's eyes and have all sorts of false ideas and images about one another.

Some people give others names, make jokes about them, cover them with their prejudices and avoid direct contact.

They think of others as enemies. They forget that they love as we all love, they care for their children as we care for ours, become sick and die as we do.

Let's not forget that others around us are our brothers and sisters and that we are not to treat them as objects that can be destroyed at will.

Let's cross the road and look into one another's eyes so that we can see that we are children of the same God and members of the same human family.

Let's be a neighbor today!

Being a good time manager

A lot of times when we think of time management we immediately jump to a discussion about Day-Timers, palm pilots, blackberry's or our to-do lists.

I am learning that it is much more than that. There is a spiritual dimension to it as well.

Patrick Morley has a great chapter on this in his book, "Man in the Mirror".

Nido Quebin writes, "One of the greatest reasons people cannot mobilize themselves is that they try to accomplish great things. Most worthwhile achievements are the result of many little things done in a single direction."

That is so true. God always provides enough time to accomplish His plans. We need to stop always going for the "long bomb" and run more dependable short yardage plays.

Let me give you an example of that. My father founded and was president of International correspondence Institute for over 30 years. Over a million people accepted Christ during that time. He was continually busy administrating the ministry in over 100 countries, raising money and leading the school overall.

Yet, I remember a time in Bombay, India when we were there as a family. We were walking back to our hotel and there was a man in the street asking for money. Dad stopped, talked with him, shared the gospel and gave him money.

I have never forgotten that. He took the time to minister to that man for what seemed like hours.

My dad did not become a great leader by doing great things, but by doing many little things in a single direction. He didn't set out to be great, but to be faithful.

We all have 168 hours a week.

It's more than a tips and techniques problem. It is a strategic problem. The issue is not so much memorizing twenty clever ideas to help accomplish every item on our "to do" list, though tips and techniques are helpful

The issue is a clear understanding of God's purpose for our lives, living by biblical priorities, and making plans that reflect God's will for our lives.

The progression? Find your purpose, set priorities, make your plans and formulate your goals - in that order. My goals should always come from my plans and my plans from my priorities and my priorities from my overall purpose in life.

Most of the time, instead of going straight to God, we tell God what we are going to do. God then responds. Then we beg God to let us do it anyway. We humble ourselves and listen (if we are wise). And God tell us what He is going to do.

What if we went to God first? It would save us a lot of pain (I wish I could permanently learn this lesson - but I haven't).

I am trying to learn to be effective rather than just efficient. It's in my DNA to be efficient - I'm pretty good about that. But I don't want to arrive at the end of each day satisfied that I have done God's work. I want to arrive at the end of the day knowing I have done what God wanted me to do. Efficiency is doing the job right. Effectiveness is doing the right job.

I want to finish each day knowing that I have participated in at least something that will last.

Patrick Morley writes, "The cardinal time management question is this: Are you doing anything with your time that has the potential to last forever? In your "busy-ness" have you carved out time for good works which contribute to forever? Or are you so consumed with supporting a lifestyle or other personal ambitions that everything you are doing will be left behind?"

I challenge you today to mange your time by God's priorities, making your decisions under the premise that all of life is spiritual.

Connecting with God in prayer

Isn't it interesting that we have become a people who constantly search for gratification? And don't immediately jump to the conclusion that I am talking about sexual gratification. But gratification in life in general.

It can happen in our walk with God as well. When a person repeatedly experiences dryness and emptiness in both their spiritual and secular life, it is common for people to think if not say, "there must be some way I can still get a kick out of life."

In life, it's called a "midlife crisis," where there is a lack of gratification at work, in relationships and other experiences of life. In this setting, when the usual means of satisfaction dry up, many seek other experiences to replace them.

But this can also happen in our spiritual life as well. We discover a new way of connecting with God that brings significant peace and centeredness. When that happens we believe that we have found "the way" to God.

But then it quickly dries up and becomes one more routine. It becomes boring like everything else we have tried. We try to renew our efforts, but it just doesn't work.

And then we look around with increasing desperation for something, anything that might be fresh, dynamic and exciting.

Here's the trap: WE BECOME MORE INTERESTED IN GETTING A GRATIFYING EXPERIENCE FROM PRAYER THAN IN THE LOVE THAT HAS PROMPTED THE PRAYER IN THE FIRST PLACE."

As one author put it, "we become more interested in the pennies in the hand of God, than the hand of God itself."

Let these thoughts dwell in your spirit today.

Courage in the midst of adversity

I was watching the annual "Espy" awards last night after I arrived home from church. It was the typical "I'll pat you on the back if you pat me on the back," fare, until they announced the winners of the Arthur Ashe award.

The Arthur Ashe Courage Award is presented annually to individuals whose contributions transcend sports. Last year the award was presented to George Weah, the Liberian-born soccer legend who led his national team to greatness, at great personal and financial risk, in the midst of that nation's political upheaval.

In 2003 the award went to Pat and Kevin Tillman, brothers who gave up professional sports careers to serve their country by enlisting in the U.S. Army. (Pat Tillman was killed in combat April 22, 2004 in Afghanistan).

In 2002, the Ashe Award was given to Todd Beamer, Mark Bingham, Tom Burnett and Jeremy Glick, four passengers who lost their lives September 11th on United Flight 93.

Previous recipients include: Jim Valvano (1993), Steve Palermo (1994), Howard Cosell (1995), Loretta Claiborne (1996), Muhammad Ali (1997), Dean Smith (1998), Billie Jean King (1999), Dave Sanders (2000) and Olympian Cathy Freeman (2001).

This year the prestigious Arthur Ashe Courage Award was presented to Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah and Jim MacLaren, two disabled athletes who embody the toughness of spirit and never-give-up attitude that are the hallmarks of the award and its namesake, at The 2005 ESPY Awards.

Yeboah, subject of the soon-to-be-released documentary film Emmanuel's Gift, is originally from Ghana, a country where disability has historically been stigmatized to appalling levels. Born with a severely deformed right leg and faced with near-constant struggle, Yeboah has dedicated his life to changing perceptions of the disabled in his homeland. He earned worldwide acclaim when he embarked on a quest to bicycle across Ghana -- a distance of over 370 miles, with one leg -- in a journey that is documented in the film.

MacLaren has survived two would-be fatal accidents and risen to all the challenges that life has put in his path. A Yale graduate and a former All-American lacrosse and football player, MacLaren was hit by a New York City bus at age 22 and lost a leg. After the accident he battled back to become a top marathoner and Ironman triathlete, racing against and beating able-bodied competition, and earning the rank of the fastest amputee athlete in the world.

Eight years after the first accident he was struck again, this time by a van during a triathlon, and became an incomplete quadriplegic. Battling back once more, MacLaren has become a motivational speaker. His amazing story and positive, courageous attitude now inspires others to greatness.

I watched as some of the most acclaimed and popular athletes in the world stood and applauded for several minutes. Many of the were crying.

It is truly inspirational and positive to hear and see stories like that. It's nice to know that the world is still full of people who are reaching beyond their handicaps to do great things.

Kind of puts our situations in perspective doesn't it? And inspires us to go beyond where we are at - and do great things for God and for others.

I encourage you today to face your situation with courage!

Be strong. Be bold!

A great story

One of the great stories in the word concerns a father, a rebellious younger son and a prideful older son found in Luke 15.

Among the three major players in the drama, I can see myself in all three.

Sometimes I feel like the younger son, in rebellion against God. At other times I feel like the older son, full of pride and self-righteousness.

I'm thankful that God understands that.

When I find myself in the position of the younger son, I'm thankful for the grace and mercy of God. I'm thankful that God loves me, period. Unconditionally.

When I am like the older son, wondering why those around me receive God's grace even though they haven't served God faithfully, "like I have", I am thankful for his patience with me.

With the younger son, sometimes I realize that I have to lose everything to come into touch with the ground of who I am. I once again realize the depth of God's love for me. The touch of His blessing in my life. I choose to go on in my walk with God knowing that my relationship with Him is not based on what I've done but who He is.

With the older son, sometimes I realize that no matter what I do for the father, in the end what counts is love, acceptance, forgiveness. I come again to understand that I must pay attention to MY relationship with God and not fall into the trap of comparing myself with others.

The fact is, we all are constantly returning to the Father. But the closer we come to home the clearer it becomes that there is a call beyond the call to return. It is the call to celebrate, and in turn become the welcoming father.

To reach out as the father reaches out. To forgive, to console, to heal, and to offer a festive meal.

God calls us ultimately to be healers like God himself.

Be a healer today, reach out and encourage those around you.

How to be a great friend

C.D. Prentice has written, “People who have warm friends are healthier and happier than those who have none. A single real friend is a treasure worth more than gold or precious stones. Money can buy many things, good and evil. All the wealth of the world could not buy you a friend or pay you for the loss of one.”

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements:

Most of us have a lot of acquaintances with whom we do things, but very few real friends.

From childhood we have been taught to be competitive rather than intimate, to see those around us as rivals rather than potential friends.

Most of our relationships are generally superficial. WE do things together; we talk about politics, business, sports, even religion, but we don’t share our feelings. We don’t reveal our selves.

As painful as it may seem, I believe we would all have to agree with the statements listed above. We desire friends, but how can we build better friendships?

Richard Exley writes, “A true friend is one who hears and understands when you share your deepest feelings. He supports you when you are struggling; he corrects you, gently and with love, when you err; and he forgives you when you fail. A true friend prods you to personal growth, stretches you to your full potential. And most amazing of all, he celebrates your successes as if they were his own.”

I wonder if you’ve experienced a conversation with someone recently in which you really connected. Have you ever had a conversation in which you feel that you’ve really bonded? Occasionally when talking with someone else, it’s almost as if your souls open up and you connect. You move beyond the “Hi, how are you?” You’ve connected.
Or do you ever have one of those conversations in which you just don’t connect? No matter how hard you try, you feel that you just can’t get through to that person. You could be talking to your teenager, and they look at you like you’re from another planet. Or it could be your spouse. You can usually connect, but for whatever reason it’s just not happening at that moment. We desperately need others to understand us – to know how we feel, and for us to understand how they feel. We want to be connected.
The California Department of Health Mental did a study, and what they found is so profound that you need to hear it. They discovered that if you’re disconnected to other people, there’s no one in your life that you really feel understands you, you are two to three times more likely to die an early death, you are four times more likely to suffer from emotional burnout, you are five times more likely to suffer clinical depression and you are ten times more likely to be hospitalized for an emotional or mental disorder. Human connections are good medicine.
This shouldn’t surprise us. Proverbs 27:9 says, “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” There’s something about an intimate relationship that refresh us spiritually. We were designed for intimate, loving relationships in which we’re enjoyed simply for who we are and not what we can do for others. You need people who understand you, who relate to you and who can connect to you.


David and Jonathan had a great friendship.

The Bible says in First Samuel 18:1, 3, 4, “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spiritual with David, and he loved him as himself. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off his robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.”

What can we learn from David and Jonathan?

First of all recognize the chemistry of friendship. Their friendship was a gift first and then a discipline. Neither Jonathan nor David decided to become friends. It just happened! It was spontaneous – “Jonathan become one in spirit with David.”

Risk the commitment of friendship. “And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” This covenant was the formalizing of their commitment to each other, and it would be renewed again and again. It was a commitment to the friendship at all costs and enabled their relationship to survive the jealousy of Saul, Jonathan’s father, and Saul’s attempts to kill David.
Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” To put it another way, it’s better to have one, reliable friend rather than a number of reliable ones. An important key in relationships is being committed to the other person.
Do you remember when you made a major transition in your life? You graduated from school, you moved jobs, or you even moved cities. You probably made promises to keep in touch. How is it going? If you’re like most people, you connected with others and you didn’t miss the old relationships that much. You weren’t really committed to the relationship.
That’s not all bad. You can only be friends with so many people. But if you want to really connect with a particular individual, you’ve got to be committed to the relationship. You’ve got to say, “I will be this person’s friend, no matter what.”
Let me ask you: how many close friends do you have? How many have you committed to connect with, no matter what happens in your life? If you can’t think of anyone, this might be the reason why. If you’ve thought of one to three people, you are a very blessed person. God has given you some very precious friends. If you think that you have four or more friends of this type, you probably have a problem. Most people can’t have more than about two or three deep friendships. And when you find friends of this type, you had better be committed to them.
Now, acquaintances aren’t wrong. It’s nice to have a lot of acquaintances. But you can be so busy cultivating acquaintances that you never take time to develop deep friends. You don’t need many friends in this life, but you do need a few good ones. It’s better to have two good friends than a thousand acquaintances. They key difference between a friend and an acquaintance is commitment.
Good relationships take time. They don’t happen by accident. They take cultivation, work, and a lot of time to build a deep connection with somebody. That requires commitment. There are going to be times that the relationship carries a cost. That cost might be inconvenience. That cost may be difficulties in the relationship. It may be time. But all good relationships carry a cost.
Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” Circle always. A good friend is always loyal. There are going to be times of adversity in which true friends are needed. This will be the time that many of your friends will disappear. But a true friend is always loyal. When you’re blowing it and you’re making a mistake, friends are in your corner when you’re cornered. And they see you through when everybody else thinks you’re through. They walk in when everybody else walks out. They are there with you even when you don’t deserve it. Every close relationship begins with a commitment.
This is especially important for men. Many men tend to deny their needs for deep friendships. It’s easy to coast and to talk about the weather and about sports. But we need accountability. We need deep friendships. We need to be able to open up to a few good men. Gordon MacDonald, in his book When Men Think Private Thoughts, points out that men begin to relate to others competitively. They feel that the investment of time is too costly. But he writes,
You, my male friend, are a relational being; you must connect. God has made you to share life with a host of people, not just your wife. You are meant to share life with other men as you work with them, fight the battles of life with them, and discover the world with them.
You need friends.
Now, ask yourself – who are you committed to? It can’t be too many people. “A man of many companions may come to ruin,” Proverbs says. Who are the two or three people that you will stick by no matter what? If you’re married, is your spouse one of these people? Once you promised that you would stick with them until death do you part. Somebody’s said that a lot of marriages start off as an ideal, quickly move to an ordeal, and eventually become no deal. Can you apply this principle of commitment to your marriage?
Who are you committed to? And who knows it? Have you ever gone to any single individual besides your spouse and said, “I just want you to know that I will always be there for you.” Have you ever said that to anybody? Have you ever established that kind of intentional commitment and said, “I want to grow close to you as a friend”?
You need to be committed. That’s the first key to getting connected.


Be willing to make yourself transparent and vulnerable. “Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David.” That was his way of saying that he had nothing to hide, that he wanted David to know the real Jonathan.

True friendship risks vulnerability.
Kay Brooks writes, “Shortly after my miscarriage, I met up with a friend I hadn't seen for several weeks. She pulled me into her arms and whispered, "I'm so sorry about ..." and didn't finish, afraid to say the wrong thing. After a moment, I released my hold, but Marge didn't. She kept on hugging. I squeezed back, but again finished before she did. I hugged again, stopping only after Marge released.
When I stepped back, I realized she'd shown me more than love for the moment. She'd shown me she'd hang on to me, longer than I would admit I needed her.”
When Jonathan gave David his weapons – his sword, his bow, and his belt – he made himself vulnerable. He was at David’s mercy. He had no way to defend himself.

That’s the way it is with true friendship. When we share “who we really are” with our friends, we are giving them weapons with which they can destroy us. It is the ultimate act of trust, and it is what distinguishes the truly great friendships form those that are just average.

Finally, demonstrate selflessness by preferring your friends before yourself. When Jonathan gave David his royal robe, it was a symbolic gesture showing his willingness to give us his right to the throne.

This was something that Jonathan did again and again with David. “Don’t’ be afraid,” Jonathan said in First Samuel 23:17, “My father Samuel will not lay a hand on you.” You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you.”

Notice this: the measure of Jonathan’s’ commitment to David was his willingness to give up the throne that was rightfully his. The measure of David’s commitment to Jonathan was his unwillingness to do anything to make the throne his own.
A recent USA Today article portrayed vividly the courage of true friendship:
Anne Hjelle and Debbie Nichols were friends who were mountain biking on a wilderness trail near Mission Viejo, California, when a 110-pound mountain lion sprang from the brush, pounced on Anne's back, and dragged her off by the head.
Nichols screamed for help and grabbed Hjelle's legs, trying to free her and engaging in a desperate tug of war with the cat while other cyclists threw rocks at the cat until it fled.
Jacke Van Woerkom said she was riding behind Hjelle and Nichols and later spoke to Nichols at the hospital.
"She had some blood on her face. She definitely showed signs of a major struggle," Van Woerkom said. "She was shaking, trembling. She said, 'I was not going to let go. I was not going to let go.'"
Nichols described the tenacity of the cat, saying, "This guy [the cat] would not let go. He had a hold of her face…"
But the tenacity of the cat, was overcome by the faithfulness of a friend. She continued, "I just told her, 'I'm never letting go.'"
That’s true friendship!

Saw a cartoon the other day. The caption read: “Now, while the instruments play, please shake hands with two people who aren't in your clique."

I encourage you to reach out and make new friends. We are being blessed at our church with new people coming. As the old commercial said, “reach out and touch someone”!

Faithfulness at any cost

I used to have this idea that as soon as everything was "perfect" in my life I would be happy. As soon as I had all the money I needed, as soon as everyone loved me, as soon as I was completely healthy, as soon as things were going well at work.

It's a trap. The "as soon as" trap. For no "as soon as" ever, really comes into fruition. There is always one more "as soon as".

Happiness is a choice. It's something I choose to participate in no matter what my circumstances are.

But happiness can not only be elusive in the midst of trials and adversity, happiness can be difficult to seize in the midst of the dailyness of life.

We get up, go to work, come home, watch some T.V. (or whatever it is you do to provide a distraction in your life), go to bed and sleep and then repeat the next day. It's like a scene from the movie "Groundhog day" where Bill Murray is awaken in his hotel room every morning at 6:00 A.M. to the tunes of Sonny and Cher.

On and on life goes.

The key - remain faithful. Perhaps a daily understanding of the principle that God is not so much concerned about my happiness as he is my holiness, he's not so much concerned about my circumstances as he is my character would help.

The challenge of Jesus today is not to be happy (although he does desire us to be filled with joy, peace and happiness) but to be faithful at any cost.

Just a thought.....

You never know what a day brings

You never know what a day brings. That's what makes life exciting, but at the same time terrifying for some.

Life has it's ups and downs as was shown last week in London. One day the inner city of London is full of joy as thousands upon thousands of its citizens received the news that they will be hosting the 2012 Olympic Games.

It was a day of rejoicing. The approval rating for Tony Blair soared. All of their hard work was rewarded.

The next day, the next day, this same leader stands before the people of Britain to lead his people through a time of sorrow - after an attack of terrorism.

Even as of today we don't know how many people died.

We just don't know what a day brings.

The Word says in Proverbs 27:1, "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you don't know what a day may bring forth."

We really don't - do we. Oh, we think we do. We have our plans and goals and minds set on what we see for the future, but ultimately life is full of surprises and twists that show that we are not in control.

Each day is a gift from God.

How do I handle the tumultuous riding of the seas of life? By trusting in God.

The Psalmist cries out, "but now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you".

And don't forget, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble."

When life throws you a curve ball, and you cry out for some form of stability, the one constant is God's presence and unconditional love for you and I.

Doubting your doubts

Have you ever doubted? I have. Doubts for me come in waves, like an ocean tide. They come in, and then they go out, like a Michigan summer thunderstorm.

To doubt is to be human. Everyone doubts. Or at least I think they do. Abraham doubted, Daivd doubted, Peter, the early church, on and on the list goes of people n the Word who doubted. Godly people doubt. New Christians doubt. And of course, non-Christians doubt.

Os Guiness gives a very helpful definition of doubt in his book "In two minds". He says, "When you believe, you are in one mind and accept something as true. Unbelief is to be of one mind and reject that something is true. To doubt is to waver between the two, to believe and disbelieve at the same time, and so to be in 'two minds.'"

That is what Pastor James calls, in chapter 1, a "double minded man," or as the Chinese say, "Doubt is standing in two boats, with one foot in each."

When I doubt, I try to be honest with God about my doubts. I thankful that God never gets upset or angry with me when I doubt. In fact, to a certain extent, he welcomes our doubts, because they can actually draw us closer to Him.

Then, I doubt my doubts. So many of us doubt our beliefs and believe our doubts. Many times our doubts are more emotional than intellectual. It is a rare occasion that I meet someone who doubts from sheer intellectual challenges. It most always is out of a sense of frustration with people or problems or pressures in life - why didn't God come through to help me in my situation.

Also, I practice beginning with the faith I already have. Every step forward that I take towards God moves me further away from doubt, discouragement, depression, and despair.

When I doubt, that's the time to stop and says, "God, I don't understand everything, but today I believe. Today I trust you and ask you to become the Lord, the manager of my life."

Finally, I once again experience the presence of God. I can read about playing golf in magazines and even take lessons from a golf pro. But there is nothing that teaches me more than actually playing the game itself. The cure for doubt is the experience of a changed heart, changed by the power of the Holy Spirit and the presence of God.

I encourage you today - feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.

Making right choices

I have found that in life making right choices can either make you or break you. Our lives are the sum total of the decisions that we make.

Sometimes we make good decisions. Sometimes we don't.

Most decisions are either moral or priority.

Patrick Morley writes, "A priority decision involves choosing between right and right. In other words, two or more choices can be made, either of which would be morally right."

Working longer hours or spending more time with the family is a priority decision. Staying home and watching television or becoming involved in a ministry at your local church is a priority decision.

Morley then writes, "In contrast, moral decisions re choices between right and wrong. There is a morally correct choice and the morally incorrect choice."

I then like what he says, "the best insurance for making the right decision is to know how not to make the wrong decision."

Jesus is being tempted. The devil comes to him after forty days of fasting. He tempts him three times and three times Jesus bats a thousand and comes through with the winning runs to win the game.

The three principles we can learn from his experience?

One, make decisions according to the Word of God. Rely upon God's word. Balance every choice you make with what God says.

Two, avoid foolish decisions that test God. It's one thing for me to do something by faith, trusting in God, it's another for me to throw myself off a cliff and expect God to protect me.

Three, avoid decisions that reduce worship and service to God. For instance, do I take a job that will force me to work on Sundays?

I encourage you to make right decisions today - with the help of God's spirit.

Be blessed.

Teen Suicide Prevention

Last Saturday morning, our next door neighbor committed suicide. As a neighborhood, we are grieving. The young man was 15 years old. 15 years old. So much of life ahead of him and yet he ends it all. A good kid. Into a some trouble, but a very fine young man, polite and always friendly. We watched him grow up.

Three kids, all about the same age, have taken their own lives in our Lakeview School district since February.

I am concerned and to be candid with you burdened to do something about this.

I am going to ask our youth pastor to do some research on teen suicide prevention in our community and if we in Calhoun County have any such work. I am also going to ask him to check into other high schools around the country and see what they are doing.

In a couple of weeks, after we have gathered all the information we can, so that we might give some suggestions as to how we can help solve the problem, I would like to schedule a meeting with Cindy Ruble, our Lakeview district superintendent.

Do you have any information that could help us in our quest to be a part of the solution?

Let me know.....let me know you care....