Dealing with our anger

We're going through James on Wednesday evenings, and tonight we are going to look at the subject of anger.

We all, at different times in our lives, have difficulty dealing with our anger.

In fact, it can take a great deal of persuasion in the lives of Christians to inform them that yes, all Christians get angry, even mature Christians. It's okay to get angry but it's what we do with our anger that counts.

We don't deny, hide or repress our anger, but express it in the right way.

Christmas is a time of year when our emotions can become rampant.

Christmas 2003 brought several instances of pieces on earth and bad will toward men.

In San Rafael, California, two men exchanged gifts and were offended by what the other gave. In the resulting fight, each man hit the other over the head with a flowerpot. Both were hospitalized.

Twenty-year-old Brandi Nicole Nason was also less than pleased with the gift she received. When her former mother-in-law's house burned, Nason was accused of throwing the Molotov cocktail that started the $200,000 blaze.

Although most people don't know what to do with their tree once the celebration is over, a woman in Victoria, British Columbia, had an idea. She was arrested for beating a man with her Christmas tree. The incident was sparked when the man grumbled that the load of gifts in his arms was heavier than the tree she was carrying.

When her Jensen Beach, Florida, apartment complex held a Christmas-lights competition, Donna Simmons-Groover was a winner briefly. One of her neighbors, incensed at losing the contest, ripped down part of Donna's winning display.

How can we control our emotions?

First of all we must analyze our anger. Proverbs 19:11 tells us that "A man's wisdom gives him patience." We must try to understand why we are angry.

Ask yourself:

Why am I angry?
What do I really want?
How can I get it?

Anger is never really the root problem. It's a symptom, a warning light that is telling you that something is wrong.

There are three causes of anger in our lives: hurt fear and frustration.

Secondly, don't sweat the small stuff and everything is small stuff.

Proverbs 19:11, "A man' wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

We can't major on the minors and minor on the majors.

Thirdly,

Building safeguards around you. Don't let anger dwell in your spirit. Deal with it immediately. Respond in a godly way. Channel the anger. Energy created by your anger will scrub a lot of floors, mow a lot of grass, build cupboards, run, take walks, play sports and more. Ask for a time out. Count to ten. Say the Lord's prayer. Go for a walk.

Rely on the Holy Spirit.

Let the Holy Spirit help you discover the root of your anger and deal with it before It burns out of control.

Have quiet times to cultivate an environment of peace in your spirit.

Keep an anger journal.

Write every day - marking down the date, time, place and with whom you became angry. Write down why you became angry. What did you wish to accomplish with your anger. How could you have responded in a better way?

Stay away from anger proned people. Proverbs 22:24, "Keep away from angry short-tempered people or you will learn to be like them." Anger is contagious.

The way you express your anger is learned. Somebody has modeled it for you.

The good news is, since it's learned, it can be unlearned. You don't' have to stay stuck in those lousy patterns of anger that you grew up with being a mute or a maniac or a martyr, being a clam-up or a blow-up. You don't have to stay the same. You can change. You can learn new patters with God's help.

Finally, realize the consequences of your anger. Proverbs 14:29, "Anger causes mistakes. When we lose our temper, we lose. we lose the respect of other people. We may lose the love of people we love most. We can lose our health.

One thing I know. Jesus cares about our pain. Jesus wants to replace our frustration with a new level of peace.

May you live in peace today.