Divorce and children

One thing I am learning as I share with couples who are walking through a divorce is the hardship is brings upon the children. How do they survive?

While divorce is never good for children, it may result in a less destructive environment and thus be a relief for them.

Each child is so different. Each reacts in different ways. Depending upon their age at the time of their parents divorce, they may express their feelings in a number of different ways.

They will need a great deal of love and support from both of their parents, from their extended family and from their church family.

The positive news is that though it maybe very difficult for them, children can grow up healthy in a divorced family.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Make the best of your situation. Find someone to talk to about the guilt you feel for involving your children in a divorce. Resist the temptation to dig up your guilt once Calvary has covered it. With God's help, focus your attention on your children's needs instead of your own. Help them get on with life.

2. Learn to co-parent with your former spouse

Remember that you both still love your children even though perhaps you no longer love each other.

Understand that your former spouse may be legally and morally unfit (by Christian standards) to parent your children.

Reorganize and accept that your children will be exposed to your former mate's lifestyle.

Resist the urge to continue your battles through your children by being difficult about visitation schedules.

3. How do you respond when your child prays that their parents get back together?

Explain that God allows us the freedom to make some decision that are not exactly what He would choose for us to do.

When we make those unwise choices, we must take a change on being hurt by the consequences of them.

God loves us during the time we are hurt by our own bad choices just like parents keep on loving children who are hurt by their bad choices.

When two people decide to get a divorce, or one person decides to get a divorce form the other person, God won't force them to get back together.

Just some thoughts that I hope will help. More to come.