I think I have come up with a new term (at least I have never heard it before). It's called "backlash resentment".
"Backlash resentment" is when I (or anyone) begins to resent someone(s) who is showing resentment toward me over a period of time.
You wait and you watch and if that person(s) attitude doesn't change, you find yourself giving in to a resentment about that person's resentment.
I see "backlash resentment" in marriages, at the worksite, and in the church.
One spouse resents the other for things that they perceive are negative. The other spouse picks up on that resentment and begins to have negative feelings toward the other, not based on what they did, but based on the negative feelings that they are projecting.
In other words, "if you don't like me," "than I am not going to like you."
What to do?
Well, off the top of my head:
1. Have a healthy self-image of who you are. Having a healthy self-image comes from having a correct God-image of yourself. How God looks at you. God loves you. God likes you. God is for you. God has a plan and purpose for your life. Nothing can separate me from God's love.
2. Resist being co-dependent. One facet of co-dependancy is an obession to control someone else's behavior or feelings.
3. Set up a pow-wow. Set up a time where you can openly express your feelings. A non-threatening setting is preferable. A restaurant. Somewhere public.
4. Pray (for all your spiritual type folks, that of course is number one - these are not in any particular order).
5. Resist the temptation to hurt back. Hurting people hurt people. Hurting people hurt easily.
6. Have an attitude of "that's their problem." If I like me and God likes me, than whoever doesn't like me - that's their problem. What really counts in the long run is the way God looks at me, the way I look at myself, and the way that others close to me look at me.
Just some thoughts...any other steps someone can take?
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