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Wednesday, June 01, 2005

To forgive or not to forgive - that's the question.

As a pastor who teaches on a regular, weekly basis, I can pretty much tell you what topics will be "best sellers" to those who seek after audio and video tapes of our services.

One "best seller" is forgiveness.

There's so much anger, hurt and resentment in all of us, really, that the topic resonates with the body of Christ.

Being as close as we are on a weekly basis, a community of faith not only provides a sense of intimacy for you and I, but also reveals the tensions among us. Think of it as one, big, extended family.

And as in any family where a husband and a wife don't talk to each other, or a child refuses to eat, or brothers and sister bicker, there are tense silences, the body of Christ can be the last place where you want to be.

That's where forgiveness comes in.

Forgiveness means that I continually am willing to forgive the other person for not being God - for not fulfilling all my needs.

And when the shoe is on the other foot, I must ask forgiveness for not being able to fulfill other people's needs as well.

No matter how sincere we are, all of us are concerned about getting our needs met. Since w want so much and we get only part of what we want, we have to keep on forgiving people for not giving us all we want.

We must forgive. This is so important because in the day and age we live in people are constantly looking to blame their parents, the church and their friends for not giving them what they need. So many are so angry.

Yet forgiveness will set us free. We say, "I no longer hold your offense against you."

But there is more.

We also free ourselves from the burden of being the "offended one."

It releases us from the emotional load that we carry.

The great temptation is to cling in anger to those who have offended us and then define ourselves as being offended and wounded by them. It becomes our identity. We wallow in it. We relish it. We become comfortable with it.

Be set free today!

Why not? The other option is misery.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I really don't want to forgive because I have been hurt.

I get lashed out at by someone or given "the silent treatment" for no known reason. Why should I forgive and make things "right"? Especially when I haven't even done anything wrong.

Sometimes I get tired of being the one who always sets things "right". Why am I always the one who goes to that person first, asking for forgiveness?

I will say that the closer my relationship is with the Lord the easier it is for me to forgive. When I can't forgive or won't forgive it's a very good barometer of where I am spiritually.

Thanks for the good word on forgiveness.

I think I need to do some forgiving today.

Jon said...

As often as we repeat the 23rd Psalm, we often don't hear the words anymore..."Forgive me my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me..." The psalmist doesn't say forgive me so I can forgive, or forgive me and I forgive...instead, he says AS I FORGIVE so that we will know that God forgives us in measure with how we forgive. Yes, God will forgive all our sins and move them as far as the east is from the west but we are obligated to forgive in that same measure lest we receive forgiveness with the same lack of thoroughness. Holding onto anger, hurt, or spite only hurts me...yes, I am human and feel all of those things (some for longer than others) but when I repeat the 23rd Psalm, it always hits me that I receive as I give. So give today...give the gift of forgiveness to those who have offended you and give yourself the gift that comes from forgiving...your heart will be the better for it. See you later, I have to go follow my own advice! God Bless!

Rosalina Kay said...

P. Bill, your right. The deeper the offense it is- the longer it may take to forgive the person who offended you.

I know that all to well. But over the years the wounds do close and forgiveness is somewhat easier to give to that person. With the lord's help the burden can be easily lifted from our shoulders and then it is almost like a walk in the park to forgive. But we must remember that even though it is much "easier" to forgive the person, we MUST mean it. We must truly forgive them and not just say it.